Diary of a 1st-4th Year Student: Last Week of Round 1
Monday, Oct. 6
Just a few days left of this half of the term! I was just going to say I can’t wait to not have to go to campus for a WHOLE WEEK, but I remembered that my reading week might be chaos as well…so….sigh….
Adulting.
Today was good, though! I went to my morning lectures in person - I don’t often do that, but it seemed like the right thing to do. I liked our professor - she was a guest (who often does this class, just not this year), and was very entertaining. I have to say, the professors for most of the core courses are quite engaging. Whether or not they’re good teachers, or their content is useful, is a bit more questionable…but at least if you’re not going to love a course, you might as well be entertained!
I got to go back to Dancing with Parkinson’s today, too! It’s a good day when you get to dance with your friends. Today, I got paired with someone I haven’t danced with much, but they want to keep an eye on him more. Apparently, he’s not always accepting of having a partner, but today, he seemed fine with me being there. Step one is always to ask if they want help, but sometimes you have to be a bit more strategic because you really don’t want their answer to be a hard no. Though even then, you can always hover and just be around…but it’s better if they’re just willing to dance with you, and you can avoid a scare altogether. He said maybe next week we could tango, so maybe it wasn’t too bad!
After I got home, I lost a few hours of my life, though…the printer wasn’t working, so we went down a huge troubleshooting rabbit hole ending in my roommate trying to decide whether or not she should download an app that would let her screenshare with HP tech support. It seemed confusing and kind of sketchy, so we both eventually freaked out and decided to work on it another night. I had one last idea to restart the router, though, and that solved it! Too bad - those 2 hours could’ve been SO helpful!
I definitely didn’t accomplish as much as I wanted today. That was part of the reason I went into class - I wanted to use this afternoon to plow forward instead of catching up. I guess it’s a good thing I did, though, because there really wouldn’t have been a chance for anything other than lectures if I had to do all three of them tonight.
Woof - I can’t believe I’m getting on a plane in less than 48 hours….
What is life????
Tuesday, Oct. 7
Love how yesterday ended in existentialism. I’ll start back the same way.
I want to understand the headspace of what it feels like to not care about a group project. I am aware that I am currently working in a group, and nobody’s particularly motivated to do it. I get it. It would be nice if there were a slight initiative, though. It’s weird. I would have an anxious breakdown if I approached a project the way some of my other group members did…and it makes me sad that even the guilt of having to work with other people doesn’t seem to edge them forward.
I wish I had more trust in the future generation…but maybe they’ll figure it out? I don’t know.
They can have cool ideas, I’m sure. But sometimes I feel like I just need to shake them to get something out of them.
I can’t believe tomorrow I’ll be on a plane! I am not ready…but I threw some clothes in the corner, so I think now I just have to grab my suitcase, and then I’ll be good. There has been so much happening over the past 5 weeks, I’m glad I can be a part of it for a bit. I hope I can get some school work done, though - I seem to have quite a bit to do. I’m not FULLY behind on anything, but there are a few things I’m not fully on top of (like, my extra round of good hand-written notes for physiology). I’d really like to get on top of everything and also work forward in a few things if I can.
I just want the next half of the term to go at least medium smoothly…I’m prepared for a bit of chaos…but, I only have a bit of space left to maintain my temper.
I’m realizing that York is poking at my angry side a bit…and I’m not that used to that. I’m usually more of a sad than an angry. I’m at the end of my rope….but it’s too early for it. It’s only October.
My two least favourite courses, I have until May.
It never ends.
Technically, IPAL is in 3 blocks, so it kind of changes soon…but I’m ready for the same eye rolls….and there seems to usually be a group project in each block, so that’s fun.
Oh yeah - they brought blindfolds and we played a bit of soccer today! Well…not really play, but try to navigate the ball. It was so hard! But I am also aware that I wouldn’t be good NOT blindfolded, either, so who knows. Maybe I could get really good even faster because I wouldn’t be distracted by what I used to do so well!
So far, that’s 2 days of IPAL wins, and 3 days of…why????
Wednesday, Oct. 8
Weee - I’m on a plane!!! It’s so bizarre to be flying back home for a bit! It also feels a little like I’m playing hooky…but I’m not! I swear!
All I have is one more class before reading week, and it should be recorded, so I’m good to run away. I only wish I could ACTUALLY run away and didn’t have to do a bunch of homework while I’m gone.
I successfully put a bit of time into my writing project on the plane, but I think I’m going to pivot to something a little easier now. I feel a little squished in the corner (and tired), and I DO have other projects I can work on.
I just realized I forget when the flight started….and how long it even is. I wonder if I’m halfway through yet.
Oh - I found the app info. It looks like we’re halfway. I think now’s a good time to switch to something less essential. I did one edity pass, and I should probably give my eyes a bit of a break from hard things. I can either do some reading/notes for my 1st year class, or I can work on our excel lab things for my research methods class.
I had a test this afternoon for my 1st year class. I can’t believe it’s mandatory for me…I really wish I could do a 3rd or 4th year equivalent. All that’s going to happen is I’ll do this and I won’t get the chance to do the more interesting version. I’m not against it as content at ALL - it’s just the way it’s tested and presented that’s so basic and memorization-y that it’s a problem. Today’s test was SO easy…except for a couple things…which had multiple correct answers…but you had to remember how it was SAID in that lecture - not just what’s true/relevant.
Bizarre.
But the things that weren’t questionable were offensively easy. It’s the fastest test I’ve ever done at York. I even basically did it twice because I will always check things over a 2nd time if I have time.
Also, I got 100% on that stupid project I spent too long on. I wonder if the instructor even watched it…I have no way of knowing. I don’t actually have any feedback from that course yet - just a bunch of 100%s. Which I’m happy to take? But it’s weird to do a bunch of work that just seems to go into the ether…I don’t learn anything from it by doing it or by getting it back…
I’m glad this is what I’m spending my money on.
Thursday, Oct. 9
Ok, so when I saw that yesterday’s entry was Wednesday, I freaked out that I missed a day. How is it only Thursday??? I’m so discombobulated…..
I know it’s partially because I’m in BC now - a little early for reading week. I spent most of today working on an essay, though, so it wasn’t even like it was a holiday day. I think I’m going to have the next few days without school, though, and then do a couple of catch-up days later in the weekend.
I’m still not totally solid on the essay I just submitted, but I decided it was good enough and I should just move on. The last thing I did was good, so hopefully this is also good enough. It’s always hard to trust when I know she’s also a picky professor! I have a few things I’d kind of like to overhaul now, but I keep having to remember it’s not about perfection. This is not my dissertation. At all. It’s an assignment….which I will get feedback on before it gets incorporated into something bigger.
We also went and visited my grandma, which is also good. She got a good review from the OT, and even though she’s not doing GREAT great, she apparently doesn’t need to be in a rush to move into long-term care. She’s in a cute little independent living apartment building thing where she gets meals, and there are activities which she may or may not do. She went up to play bridge once - hopefully she meets some friends, though, and they can convince her to do some other things, too!
Friday, Oct. 10
Today, I got to go visit my grandma’s house. I guess it’s her old house now? The listing is officially live as of today. It’s hard to believe that the next time I come home, it might not be hers anymore.
She thought she was going to die in that house…which sadly really isn’t a choice you can make.
She’s in an independent living senior’s condo now….which is where she should’ve been for years, but she was pretty set on making her house work.
Not much else happened today…I took it kind of “off” other than the trip to Penticton. So….we were gone all day, and then I took the evening off, I guess.
I crashed pretty hard when we got home. I’m kind of amazed I’m still awake.
I’m going to go to bed now….I tired…
Saturday, Oct. 11
So…I did 2 hours of school today….did I do enough to get to check off a box?? NO! My notes are taking so long!!! It’s better when I do them right away, I think….Once I get behind it, it gets super slow.
Didn’t do much else school-related today. I got to go to a beginner ballet class with my mom (adorable!!!), and then there wasn’t that much time until we had to prepare to go to dinner with grandma.
My calf is TIRED. But that’s good, I guess
I have no idea if tomorrow will be productive or not….I really wouldn’t mind spending a day getting stuff done, but I have no idea if my brother’s hanging out all day or if he’s going home. It would be nice if he hangs out…but if he doesn’t, it would actually be good to have a work day….
Sunday, Oct. 12
It wasn’t a 100% work day, but I got a good chunk done! My brother hung out for a bit, but didn’t stay too long after breakfast…he had lots to do, too, so he headed out.
So, I got on top of my physiology notes! They’re so slow, but they’re really helpful. I still feel like I don’t remember half of it, but it’s good to go through it slowly and remember things. The details might not be fully solidifying, but at least some of the major concepts have a chance for another pass across the good old brain.
I also went over one of the pages with my mom, just to do a bit of review of one of the major processes. It’s not solidified yet, but it feels like it will be manageable with a few more study sessions. It’s amazing how much better you can know things once you just spend a bit of isolated time on them.
Should I feel guilty that these past few entries have been short? I don’t know….
But REALLY….I’m the one making the rules….so why don’t I feel like I’m fulfilling them???